You know you're from Paris when...

	1. You consider Boulogne, Neuilly, Saint-Denis etc to be the countryside. I mean, Porte de Versailles or Porte de la Villette mean there IS a door, and therefore an outside and an inside, right? 2. You're SO over the sound the Carte Imagine R makes when you swipe it on the machine 3. Your very first clubbing experience was at Les Planches. Now you think it looks more like a nursery than a club. 4. You find it normal that someone is randomly peeing in the street. 5. You peed in the street at least once in the past year. 6. You think that having a car in Paris is useless, but to get from Concorde to Les Champs Elysées, you take a taxi. 7. You can tell only by looking at their clothes which arrondissement people are from. 8. Shopping is a competitive sport, fashion, a way of life. 9. You actually think its lucky to walk in dog shit with your left foot. 10. You know the subway map by heart, but you have trouble learning the different regions of France. 11. You know that coffee isn't supposed to be served in a cup that looks like a bathtub. And you drink it at the bar, standing. 12. You hate Paris and Parisians. 13. You love Paris and Parisians. 14. When foreign people ask where you're from, you say "Paris", and not "France". 15. You have never been on the Eiffel Tower, or on a boat on the Seine, and you only go to the Champs Elysées when it's Sunday night and you need to buy a book at Virgin for class on Monday. 16. You're so dramatic, you say you want to kill yourself at least five times a day. 17. You're surprised when someone holds the door for you at the subway exit. 18. You're even more surprised when a sales person asks if you're looking for something in particular. Actually that would never happen. 19. You know the guy whose sister's friend is the cousin of a girl who knows the manager. 20. You got shit faced when you were young, and now you drink real drinks, and look down on people who do vodka/beer shots at parties. 21. "Putain", "bordel", "merde" or the ever famous "putain de bordel de merde" (translation: bordel fucking shit) are not considered "bad words"; I mean, you use them every day, and sometimes it's affectionate. 22. You don't really get excited when you go clubbing; you just go. 23. You know that Paris is not a city, it's an attitude. 24. When you see "sales" in the street, you think that they should be banned from the city and burned at the stake. 25. You thinks it's normal when you know the life story of the butcher/baker/cashier/sales woman of H&M. 26. You KNOW that it's the most fabulous, angry, stylish, bitchy, comic, even romantic (even though you HATE clichés) city in the world and that, although you left, you will come back and stay for good. 27. You laugh at your fellow westerners who refer to miles, ounces or inches. Is this is a joke? Surely they live by the metric system. Right?